Having the right picture of God, ourselves, others and the world is an important part of transformation in the Christian formation process. We all have a story though that can distort this, and sometimes we need to be reminded that God’s grace is there even when we are not aware we need it.
I am going to write several devotions this February. I will tell you a significant piece of my story. Following the devotion is a song. As you read and listen to the song, ask God to show you more of Himself and who you are. Consider what part of your own story you need to invite God into so that He can reveal His intimate presence in whatever way He chooses.
“Similarly, if you find your devotion to God is feeble, the solution is not to try harder. The answer is to see clearer; to gain a more ravishing vision of who God is and there discover his unparalleled value. This vision comes to us most perfectly in the person of Jesus Christ who is the image of the invisible God.”
Skye Jethani
I got up and went to my car. I started driving. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew it was a good time to die. I didn’t think I could do something to myself, but maybe I would have a wreck; maybe I would drive over a cliff. I hoped something like this would happen. I remember saying, “Lord, this would be a good time for you to take me.” I didn’t really know if He was there or not, but I remember saying those words over and over.
I never knew how long I drove that day; maybe around four hours, but that is just a guess. I remember pulling my car over to the side of the road, getting out and walking up an incline into the forest. I remember feeling absolutely nothing inside, but the forest seemed like the right place to go. I kept walking.
I don’t know how long I walked that day, but I remember walking into a clearing, falling on the ground and crying out to God. You see, I had professed to know Him for years. I accepted Christ at a Billy Graham crusade. It was the first time I had heard that God loved me, and I was compelled to walk down to the front and receive what this man was talking about. But now was different; the man I loved walked out and left our marriage. I was 24 years old and knew life was over for me.
Once again, I have no idea how long I lay on that ground crying. I continued to cry out to a God whom I didn’t know… Don’t we all do that? When our life falls apart, we say God’s name over and over. Why do we do that? Do we believe in Him or do we not? I didn’t know.
As I was lying there and finally stopped crying, I thought someone walked up. It felt so strong to me that I looked up. I sat up and looked around me. I didn’t see anyone, but then I looked up higher. What was that? At the top of a tree was an old, large wooden cross. I kept looking at it. Why was it there? I stared at it, (again I have no idea how long) and deep down somewhere, I knew this cross was for me. I knew there was a reason for me to live, even though my husband had left me. I had no idea what my purpose was, but I wanted to live.
Personal Reflection:
I found out years later the place I ended up that day was a church camp. I believe God led me there; purpose and hope were restored to me. When the person I thought was life itself walked away, when the life I knew had been destroyed, when I thought the only answer was death; God met me.
We have a Creator who values us and when we think that life is over, He shows us who we really are and what we mean to Him. He cares about humanity; He cares about us intimately.
Do you understand that no matter what has happened to you, where you have been, or what you have done, God is there; He will meet you?
Is there a situation you need to know God is… or was there? Listen to the song below, bring the place and situation to your mind; ask God to show you Himself. Ask Him to let you hear the song He sings over you.
It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hope up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.
Ephesians 1:11, The Message
Hear the Song, by Becky Frith
(From the Album Promise, which can be bought from iTunes or www.beckyfrithmusic.com.)
There’s a time
There’s a place
There’s a moment when beauty calls you by your name
Caught off-guard
You catch your breath
As the music of heaven washes over you.
Hear the song that He sings over you.
Know His love as He sings over you.
God is here, Reaching out
In each grace-filled, sacred moment, He is found
Live your life in love’s pure light
As the music of heaven washes over you.
Hear the song that He sings over you
Know His love as He sings over you
Hear your song that He sings over you
Hear His heart as it beats with love for you.
Everyday, every hour, every moment
He is singing your song – can you hear it?
He’s singing over you, delighting over you
Turn to Him and listen, listen
Now you’re running in the wide-open spaces
Tell your story, believe it, embrace it
He’s singing over you, delighting over you
Turn to Him and listen, listen
Additional Reading:
Henri J.M. Nouwen (2002) Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World
